Name: Big Daddy aka Billy George.

Billy (centre) on a sunny day with, from left to right, former TwinsTown man Ben Sharp aka B-Sharp, daughter Ellie, son Jack and wife Claire.

As TwinsTown manager you must feel like Top Cat, the indisputable leader of the gang. Aye, the most tip top, Top Cat!

TC was effectual, intellectual, and a VIP… He did outwit Officer Dibble on a daily basis.

Who do you outwit on a daily basis? Well, not Donald and Stuart obviously, they’re far too cunning. I can’t even get them in my car within a half hour of arriving to pick them up.

Yeah, I noticed. Still, TC’s gang adored him: Benny the Ball (Donald), Choo-Choo (Stuart), Brian (Wayne), Spook (Mark), and Fancy-Fancy (Harry). Interviewing TwinsTown, I asked who was their favourite member. After votes for Ainsley Harriott and Tony Bellew were disqualified, you were the runaway winner. Another award for the mantle piece.

The boys say you boldly go where no manager has gone before… Is this a William Shatner joke!?

Oops, caught! Better scrub the one about Steve Bruce. Moving on. Is it true that you have a Wingnuts tattoo? Who have you been speaking to!?

Ellie and Billy George (looking nothing like William Shatner or Steve Bruce).

Oops. Moving on. Did Donald and Stuart really save the Pars by singing their own anti-Masteron song in Fabric after the Save the Pars gathering at The Alhambra? No, Jason Duffy saved the Pars playing Pars songs in The Old Inn on the day of the Pars march. The event was featured in the Scotland on Sunday as a double-page centrefold.

Jason’s a Celtic fan though… As are a few other well-known Pars fans.

Enough said. You’re a frontman in your own right with Honk. I’ve got your album, Eventually. What’s It All About and Love You More are great tracks, and I love you playing Home Fires Burning at the end of every gig… It’s a tribute to a great friend David Bell aka Diddyman who, like many during the miners’ strike, suffered at the hands of Thatcher’s police oppression. He was compensated, but later died in tragic circumstances.

Eventually, a quality album from Honk.
Billy fronting Honk at Leroy Day in PJs.

TwinsTown have a wee political edge too. I assume you approve… Oh, aye.

Your chilli sold out every table in Tappies on Friday and received rave reviews. Did you miss your true calling in life as a chef, and do you now regret music management? Everyday of my life.

I know you love it really... It’s heart over head when it comes to music and TwinsTown are well worth it. They’re excellent. New album, Brankholm Brae, is 12 of the best tunes I’ve heard in ages.

Heart over head,” you say. A bit like your politics… Don’t go there.

Do say: “You’re a better frontman than Richard Jobson.”

Don’t say: “The twins are stranded miles away with no money. You’ll have to sort them out again.”

Name: The Duke aka Harry ‘Jug of Lager’ Dixon.

The Duke.

Are you partial to a jug of lager? No, I’m actually teetotal. My friends are fans of irony.

I see. Was your friend Tony ‘Bomber’ Bellew, the world champion boxer, being ironic when he called me an uncultured swine? I’m afraid not.

Did you encourage the Bomber? Not at all. Tony Bellew is now a erudite boxing commentator. Those are his own choice of words.

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” J. K. Rowling.

With that in mind, choosing TwinsTown seems to be working out for you? The only band I ever wanted to play for. Donald and Stuart made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Mo Johnston said that moments before betraying Celtic when Rangers’ Graeme Souness made him an offer…? Yes, but I’m not an uncultured swine.

No, but you are a fan of Dirty Dancing…? Patrick Swayze could FLARE IT!

Nobody puts Harry in the corner, aye? Exactly, although John Barnes said it best: “Express yourself, its one on one. Express yourself, you can’t be wrong, when somethings good it’s never wrong”.

There’s only one way to beat them, get round the back. Catch me if you can
’cause I’m the TwinsTown man and what you’re looking at is the master plan.

Do say: “Flare it!”

Don’t say: “You do realise that your TwinsTown debut album is called Brankholm Brae, not Flare It, don’t you?”