“We left Oakley at five past ten and arrived here at quarter to twelve,” said Billy, as I claimed we’d been on the road for two hours. We’d been the lead car in a convoy to Tpot Studios, Path of Condie, but Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen were nowhere to be seen as we trundled through the Ochil Hills at 7mph.
The arduous journey, complete with leaving Donald behind after a pit stop in Milnathort, was worth it. Watch this video and see what you think.
I Don’t Know What I Want For Christmas is the new single from TwinsTown and My Pet Rocket featuring Hugh Reed from Hugh Reed and the Velvet Underpants as Santa Claus and a special guest appearance from Billy ‘Rubber Duck’ George. 10-4 good buddy.
Watch out there’s a bear in the air…
Not really, but we do have a bear in the video, and it wouldn’t matter anyway, we’re all expert at foiling the pesky picnic police and their carnaptious covid constabulary.
Welcome to my World is the opening track on TwinsTown’s forthcoming debut album Brankholm Brae. This post is a TwinsTown welcome to the new year.
Always keeping up with the Jones twins next door, this year the Mackay twins are keeping their tree up longer.
“It’s a 2021 trend,” explained Stuart, “and of course we’re keeping up with the Joneses.”
“AYE!” screamed Donald, “the Joneses don’t have an album to release this year, and if they do, it won’t be a patch on Brankholm Brae.”
Okay Donald, keep the heid.
You have to admit though, it’s a stunning display of self-confidence from boys wearing matching Elton John T-shirts.
Talking of Elton, he appears in today’s MusicWeek.
Click the link above, it’s an interesting wee read. It’s all about Elton’s online popularity and success. Actually, I hope the twins don’t click. I don’t want Stuart and Donald turning into green-eyed monsters. Maybe the Mackays are keeping up with the Joneses but Elton is the Rocket Man.
Are you keeping your tree up this year? I hope so. 🙂
The swat of the class is Donald. I ask TwinsTown; “What’s your favourite Christmas song?” Hornet’s hand shoots up and he’s calling out his answer. He’s put no thought into it, no effort, therefore I’m moving on…
Mark offers the first considered answer.
“The Power of Love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood,” says The Darkness, explaining that, “it shouldn’t even be a Christmas song, but it’s class… the piano and the emotion in the vocals… it’s RAW!”
Okay Mark, no need to shout. I was hoping he’d pick Christmas Time by The Darkness ’cause it’d fit with his nickname and I could slag Justin Hawkins off for being a Grinch. Have you heard the Christmas Time lyrics!?
Justin and his band mates despise their gifts AND drink mulled wine. No amount of falsetto makes up for being spoilt, ungrateful, and middle class. Although if Justin got the mulled wine at The Georges’ Christmas soirée last year we’ll sweep it under Billy’s hand-woven, velvet pile Axminster and say no more about it.
Donald’s wee hand is still in the air. No Hornet, we’ll come to you later.
Next up, Mark again. Hang on, he’s had a go. What’s that, Mark, Lonely This Christmas by Mud, you say. You’ll be lonely this Christmas if you keep jumping in.
Oaft! And I thought Donald was bad.
However, lo and behold, Smackay wants two goes too.
“Elton John’s Step Into Christmas,” he ventures, adding that, “Elton performed a marvelous version on the Gilbert O’Sullivan show, 1973, whilst sporting an over-sized white feather boa.”
Stuart must’ve been at one of The Georges’ recent soirées. And I thought Donald was the swat.
“Stay by East 17,” says Stuart, wanting his second go.
Harry and Wayne are saying nothing. Billy is busy. He hasn’t completed his Christmas spreadsheet:
Douse the Christmas pudding
Purchase the Lindor balls
Choose scented candles
Confirm the wrapping paper colour scheme
Investigate the provenance of the turkey…
It must be my go. Oh, wait, Donald is waving his phone in the air playing Stop the Cavalry by Jona Lewis. I thought you were all about Bruce Springsteen, you know, Santa Claus is Coming to Town?
“Well, if they’re having two goes…” he pouts.
My go at last and I’m nothing if not predictable.
I love the Pogues and I love Kirsty MacColl even more, so to say I was pleased with Fairytale of New York would be an understatement. I know the BBC are butchering the lyrics this year, but not me. I’m already Dunfermline’s most wanted.