TwinsTown have upcoming gigs.

I’ll never have to say, “why don’t you ask Den?” again

Having recruited Dennis Hamilton on drums, TwinsTown have a full squad ready to rock.

Gigs
In other news

Leroy Day is back and my favourites, Honk, will be playing. Here is Billy announcing plans for 2022.

Delighted to announce that Leroy Day will be returning after a 2 year absence and will be taking place as it has done since the first one 27 years ago on first Sunday in May. It will in essence be a delayed 25 year celebration of keeping this whole thing going in memory of our dear friend Leroy.

More details to follow but put 1st May at PJ Malloys in your diaries folks. It’s always Dunfermline’s number one musical extravaganza. ❤

Billy George, Honk
Leroy.
Original Honk line up.
“Honk against our back drop. A lassie from New Zealand who was touring Scotland did it in the cellar of The Spider’s Web where I was working at the time. Cost us 2 pints of guinness and a bar lunch. 🤣💙” – Billy George.

Stay alive!

A State of Mind, the award-winning podcasters, invited Donald and Stuart to represent TwinsTown, performing a few songs and being interviewed. Apparently the podcasters had met the twins before, when they gatecrashed a Kyle Falconer interview, and knew what they were getting into. Hard to believe, I know.

Later, I discovered top podcaster Paul John Dykes is originally from Oakley. The world makes sense for once. These days I’m glad when something, anything, makes sense.

Donald and Stuart Mackay at A State of Mind Unplugged I.
Donald and Stuart Mackay at A State of Mind Unplugged II.
Donald Mackay at A State of Mind Unplugged.
Stuart Mackay at A State of Mind Unplugged.
Paul John Dykes, award-winning podcaster, A State of Mind Unplugged.
John McMulkin, taking a break from waging war against criminals with his indestructible supercar, KITT.
Top cameraman Kelvin focusing on Stuart as Donald tunes up.
Stuart Mackay and Stuart Rae preparing for a car crash interview at A State of Mind Unplugged.
Stuart Mackay interview ready, in helmet and goggles.

A State of Panic, I mean preparation, A State of Preparation

To prepare for the podcast I watched A State of Mind Unplugged featuring Shambolics. Unsurprisingly deeply earnest in parts (not in a bad way), it had iconic captions to introduce interview segments.

SHAMBOLICS ON… THE BEATLES & KIRKCALDY

My mind boggled. Imagine the TwinsTown captions… taboo doesn’t even begin to describe my thoughts. Unpublishable even on this liberal blog.

In the end diplomacy and clever editing won.

TWINSTOWN ON… FIFE TODAY CALLING YOU ‘A FORCE OF NATURE’

Cut to the Chase, FFS!

This is well worth a watch and thank you A State of Mind Unplugged.

A State of Mind Unplugged featuring TwinsTown.

Find on YouTube to save, share and/or like.

Post-Interview

Stuart Mackay post-interview celebration at A State of Mind Unplugged.
Cheers!
A State of Mind studio I.
A State of Mind studio II.
A TwinsTown State of Mind.
A TwinsTown State of Mind including me.

Stay alive!

A State of Mind Unplugged featuring TwinsTown.

Find on YouTube to save, share and/or like.

TwinsTown and My Pet Rocket released their new Christmas single and official music video on Friday, 10th December, and already it has well over 6,000 views on Facebook.

I Don’t Know What I Want For Christmas

For non-Facebook users the track is available here and will be released on YouTube at 4.30pm today. Streaming on all major services will follow shortly.

Update

Now on YouTube, click this link…

I Don’t Know What I Want For Christmas on YouTube

Harry Dixon on bass, Billy George on vocals, Dom Owtram on drums, and My Pet Rocket on vocals.

The video starts with an introduction from Hugh Reed of Hugh Reed and the Velvet Underpants and Hugh is outstanding as Santa Claus making his list and checking it twice.

Hugh Reed from Hugh Reed and the Velvet Underpants making a brilliant cameo appearance as Santa Claus.

In other highlights, Stuart Mackay, widely regarded as the sixth sexiest man in TwinsTown, appears in a bright red Christmas onesie.

My Pet Rocket, Donald and Stuart Mackay.

TwinsTown will be headlining the Whanga Records Christmas Party on Sunday, 19th December, at PJ Molloys, Dunfermline.

Merry Christmas!

Stay alive!

“We left Oakley at five past ten and arrived here at quarter to twelve,” said Billy, as I claimed we’d been on the road for two hours. We’d been the lead car in a convoy to Tpot Studios, Path of Condie, but Lewis Hamilton and Max Verstappen were nowhere to be seen as we trundled through the Ochil Hills at 7mph.

The arduous journey, complete with leaving Donald behind after a pit stop in Milnathort, was worth it. Watch this video and see what you think.

TwinsTown and My Pet Rocket release their Christmas single I Don’t Know What I Want For Christmas in less time than it takes a convoy to go from Fife to Perthshire.

You can also watch on Facebook here.

Thanks to Shiya for the cover art featuring Mark ‘The Darkness’ Guyan and Tarantino-esque foot fetishism. Christmas time, don’t let the bells end.

I Don’t Know What I Want For Christmas is the new single from TwinsTown and My Pet Rocket featuring Hugh Reed from Hugh Reed and the Velvet Underpants as Santa Claus and a special guest appearance from Billy ‘Rubber Duck’ George. 10-4 good buddy.

Watch out there’s a bear in the air…

Not really, but we do have a bear in the video, and it wouldn’t matter anyway, we’re all expert at foiling the pesky picnic police and their carnaptious covid constabulary.

What’s that? Someone is watching Scotland beat Serbia in a culpable and reckless situation, intoxicated and drinking a can of lager. Nicola must have a law against that. We’ll be there in 4 hours and 20 minutes.

If you don’t like TwinsTown and My Pet Rocket…

https://youtu.be/Sd5ZLJWQmss

Ah, breaker one-nine, this here’s the Rubber Duck

You gotta copy on me, Pig Pen, c’mon?

Ah, yeah, 10-4, Pig Pen, fer shure, fer shure

By golly, it’s clean clear to Tpot, c’mon

Yeah, that’s a big 10-4 there, Pig Pen

Yeah, we definitely got the front door, good buddy

Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a convoy

C. W. McCall

‘Cause we got a great big convoy, rockin’ through the night…

PS3 for me please, if anyone is listening. I’m feeling lucky. Is Santa actually coming down?

Merry Christmas!

Stay alive!

I just knew you guys had something special from the moment I met you.

Billy George, manager and vocals

My wee song previews for TwinsTown’s stunning debut album end here, with the title track, Brankholm Brae. It’s going to be emotional.

I’m buzzing with this album… love you all like brothers, the whole team. I mean it from the bottom of my big heart [Big Heart is track 6 on Side One].

Stuart Mackay, lead vocals and guitar

Being part of TwinsTown is great. We are like brothers. The brethren. Making Brankholm Brae has been one of the best experiences ever, and I think that goes for everyone involved. Even Harry has his mojo back.

Aye, actually enjoyed playing guitar for the first time in about 7 years.

Harry Dixon, bass and lead guitar

We’ve reached the end of an era.

  • No more trips to Tpot Studios, Path of Condie.
  • No more extraordinary feats of producing (and patience) from top sound man Robin Wynn Evans.
  • No more extraordinary feats of everything (including huge patience) from top band manager Billy George.
  • No more recording sessions watching Harry Dixon, Wayne Robertson, Mark Guyan, Donald Mackay and Stuart Mackay putting heart and soul into their work.
  • No more mixing, trying to decide if Harry shouting “FLARE IT!” can be heard during Something New.
  • No more drinking ’til the early sunrise, Monday morning long lies, nor holidays and alibis.

As for the mix. Fucking love it. It’s perfect for me, every track. I’m happy with the drums and the vocals. Wrath has a cool western reverb too.

Wayne Robertson, drums

Of course, you know what brothers are like. It’s not all love and bromance. There’s always the odd fall-out, tumble off a bar stool, black eye, and even the odd dressing down in a dressing gown. The quiet ones are always the worst. You know who they are, and THEY know who they are…

Honestly feeling a lot more confident about everything after [rehearsing] last night. Not going to lie, I was doubting my capabilities quite a bit, but now I can’t wait to get gigging.

Mark Guyan, keyboards and piano

Putting bumps into othewise flat roads is the worst “calming measure” ever. Speed bumps infuriate me. TwinsTown have the best calming measure ever. The Backbone is back! The King of All-In as I call him. B# to some, it’s Ben Sharp. The former TwinsTown man has returned for Brankholm Brae providing all with a sharp dose of reality, bass galore and angelic vocals.

Yep, tunes sound banging… we’ve all put in good work.

Ben Sharp, bass guitar and vocals

Although when it comes to the good, the bad and the ugly of TwinsTown, the B-Sharp man doesn’t stand alone in the good category. Who can forget Donald and Stuart saving Jim on the bridge in the Wölves’ video for Animal.

You are my fucking hero… a life saver! [Donald to Billy].

Donald Mackay, lead vocals and guitar

Last night a DJ saved my life… yes, I can remember when Billy was a DJ. He played one of my office parties at Murrayfield and had a longstanding residency in the classic Somewhere Else famously run by the late Jim Kirkpatrick and Bob Dick. I wonder what those two toun legends would say about TwinsTown now. It probably doesn’t bear thinking about.

Brankholm Brae’s title track is track 12 on TwinsTown’s stunning debut album.

The more I listen, the more I like it.

Joe Graham, PR and photography

Brankholm Brae does grow on you. Arguably the title track more than any other. I just can’t get Brankholm Brae out of my head, it’s indie pop gold from the very first verse…

I’m moving on, I’ve left the nest

I’ve found a safe haven and I’m taking a rest at the Brae

TwinsTown

Track 12 Brankholm Brae is unashamedly sweet and sentimental. Donald and Stuart issue an open invitation to visit and stay at Brankholm Brae, their home. It brings a tear to my eye thinking of the lonely twosome heartbroken, their kind invitation dashed on the rocks by Covid-19’s social distancing.

You can come along in the morning

You can come at night or day

You can come along without warning

You can come to mine and stay

At the Brankholm Brae

TwinsTown

Kindness is the best and there’s tons of it whenever you visit Double Trouble at the Brae. I can testify to it personally and I won’t mention the neighbours.

Don’t be a stranger

It doesn’t matter what the neighbours say !!!

TwinsTown

With the album sorted thoughts are turning to music videos now.

Do you have any ideas for a video that aren’t like a David Lynch meets Quentin Tarantino on acid collaboration?

Billy George, manager and vocals

Personally, I like vampires and cowboys.

Everybody loves a cowboy! We need to do a western for Wrath of the Rum. We can use Erin’s horses.

Stuart Mackay, lead vocals and guitar

Wild, wild horses, I hope.

As well as videos, thoughts are turning to gigs, streaming or at least live recordings.

I think Ben needs to play the bass for the first two it would be like The Beatles without John Lennon playing those songs without your guitar parts Duke, especially Spitfire [Donald to Harry].

Donald Mackay, lead vocals and guitar

As I mentioned previously, I’ve been tuning into Stevie Agnew’s Sunday Sesh on Facebook Live. Food for thought. I can tell TwinsTown are hungry, itching to get going, on something or another.

Absolutely love you and your playing… [Harry to Ben].

Harry Dixon, bass and lead guitar

Videos, gigs, and of course thoughts are also turning to singles. That really will be a difficult choice. Billy was considering Johnny Depp for the first single but…

I might change my mind in the morning though. Such is the fluctuational appeal of this wonderful collection of songs.

Billy George, manager and vocals

I’m the same as Billy, there’s just so many good tunes that there really is no obvious first single. At the moment I favour Dive In which is track 7 on Side Two.

Side Two of Brankholm Brae the stunning debut album from TwinsTown.

Anyway, we’re almost at the end… of the previews, only the previews.

I think the songs speak for themselves, Joe… I like folk guessing what they are about.

Stuart Mackay, lead vocals and guitar

Aw aye, thanks for that, Stuart. Now you tell me, AFTER I’ve written the 12 wee previews. Grrr!

Only joking, I think everyone has their own idea of what a song is about. It actually doesn’t matter what the writer or writers intended. One of the beautiful things about music is that one song can mean different things to different people.

Music for me, and I like music.

Anonymous
Brankholm Brae – Side Two.

Coming soon…

You’ll never guess… it’s only Brankholm Brae, the stunning debut album from Dunfermline indie rockers TwinsTown.

Brankholm Brae – TwinsTown.

Watch this space for details.

Stay alive!

Sometimes your brain just runs wild, thoughts flashing through your mind, you know, a frenzy.

  • Turning Japanese – The Vapours
  • Every Day I Die – Gary Numan
  • Blister in the Sun – Violent Femmes
  • Be My Girl (Sally) – The Police
  • St. Swithin’s Day – Billy Bragg
  • Pictures of Lily – The Who
  • Pump It Up – Elvis Costello
  • My Ding-A-Ling – Chuck Berry
  • Fingers – Pink
  • Bed Bugs – TownTown

Sometimes you just have to make a list. A top ten even. It’s in no particular order mind. TwinsTown are No.1 not No.10, but it’s just random anyway. Certainly nothing anyone might want to hide from their mum and dad.

Bed Bugs is track 11 on Brankholm Brae the stunning debut album from TwinsTown.

Bed Bugs is a song about mental health: the importance of it and occasionally, or sometimes more than occasionally, the things we do to keep ourselves sane. Check out the chorus…

 I try to fall asleep but the bed bugs

Want me

Oh the creepy little bed bugs

Haunt me

I try to fall asleep and the bed bugs

Taunt me

They’re keeping me up in the night

TwinsTown

I love the bridge too. We can all relate…

And they’re jealous

They’re all paranoid schizophrenics

And it’s all my fault

TwinsTown

Arguably, Bed Bugs provides the most engaging intro of all the songs on Brankholm Brae. It’s both quirky and cute. The song continues in the same vein as the lead guitar takes us into a bouncy tune with the trademark TwinsTown call and response vocals used to full effect.

Look out too for the equally subtle and gorgeous backing vocals from Billy George, Ben Sharp and Ellie George. After her introductory appearance on Big Heart, I think I’m right in saying Bed Bugs is Ellie’s second outing on Brankholm Brae.

I hope her fellow backing singers, only her dad and boyfriend, won’t mind if I say Ellie gives good “Oooo’s”. I can’t even spell Oooo’s. The last time Stuart passed me the mic Mark jumped out of his piano stool like a scalded cat and chased me away. That’ll be the end of my singing career.

Back on topic, Bed Bugs is over far too soon. T’here’s an impatient urgency, a rush and a push towards the climax. I didn’t say pull.

Despite it’s brevity, I predict it’s going to be a classic. Bed Bugs is the TwinsTown song for TwinsTown fans… like me!

Fred Flintstone and Clint Eastwood are hard acts to follow, but Bed Bugs goes in hard, standing up to the pop reference challenge with the rat pack and Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and the twins’ grandad. 50p each way on Dean Martin.

The flavour was fine

’cause it got savoured in time

We try try try

But love’s hard to find

So bye bye bye !!!!

TwinsTown

Four exclamation marks to end this one. Oaft! There’s some pent-up emotion going on and no mistake.

Following Wrath of the Rum and Say Goodbye to the Summer, Bed Bugs is the penultimate track on TwinsTown’s Brankholm Brae.

Just one song preview to go now, the title track, Brankholm Brae. There’s going to be no pent-up emotion for the final track. It’s all released. There won’t be a dry eye in the house. Tissues at the ready, please.

Coming soon…

We can’t keep it undercovers forever, it’s the album most likely to, it’s Brankholm Brae.

Brankholm Brae, the stunning debut album from TwinsTown. Honestly, it’s coming soon.

Watch this space for details.

Stay alive!

Dive In delivers a spritely start to Side Two of Brankholm Brae, the stunning debut album from TwinsTown.

The song was created when Donald Mackay, Ben Sharp, and Ben’s two friends, were jamming. Ben had the chords but had to leave. Donald offered to write a song with Ben’s chords, and Dive In was almost done and dusted when Ben returned.

It’s funny how the best songs can take the shortest time. I was talking on here recently about Phil Oakey of the Human League and Giorgio Moroder writing Together in Electric Dreams in just 10 minutes. Later, Oakey complained, albeit tongue in cheek, that Human League songs taking weeks or months enjoyed less chart success.

Dive In is track 7 on Brankholm Brae. Opening Side Two of TwinsTown’s debut album with a bang!

I first heard Dive In via Facebook Live. It was an impromptu performance in Harry’s back garden, and I loved the hook, “…plenty more fish in the sea,” which was added by Stuart Mackay to fully complete Donald’s earlier work with Ben’s chords. Great effort, Team TwinsTown!

Dive in into my mind to find some new people

Leaving my past behind because I don’t need another sequel

Dive in for me I’m a shark in the water

There’s plenty more fish in the sea

TwinsTown

Side One ends with the optimism of Big Heart and Dive In opens Side Two with a similar look at the upside of love and romance.

Dive In follows Big Heart, the last song on Side One of TwinsTown’s Brankholm Brae.

Musically, the song is tight. It pushes along at pace, a steady, unrelenting pace all the way to the bridge, before climaxing with guitar, keys and drums finally breaking out. It’s both conventional and satisfying. It’s TwinsTown plays pop.

Team TwinsTown Talk

Last night band manager Billy George aka Big Daddy gave the band a boost via WhatsApp.

He said: “You know what lads. I genuinely think this album [Brankholm Brae] is the best I’ve heard in many a year. I’m not saying this lightly. I’d like to congratulate each and every one of you. I’ve listened to it 3 times in a row with headphones on and it’s just an unrelenting work of joy. ❤️❤️”

“It’s got a bit of everything. Sacks full of melody, great lyrics, beautiful harmonies, awesome beats, booming bass, jazzy keyboards and walls and walls of guitar genius.”

Needless to say Big Daddy’s love was returned in spades by all.

Happy days for TwinsTown.

Coming soon…

You know it, it’s Brankholm Brae, the stunning debut album from TwinsTown.

Brankholm Brae – TwinsTown.

Stay alive!

Today TwinsTown reveal their cover art for forthcoming debut album Brankholm Brae and it’s a typically brilliant painting by local Dunfermline artist, and friend of the band, Jack Paton. We’d like to send a big thank you to Jack, his effort and support is very much appreciated.

TwinsTown’s twins Stuart and Donald painted specifically for debut album Brankholm Brae by local Dunfermline artist, and friend of the band, Jack Paton. Thank you, Jack.

The work, painted specifically for Brankholm Brae, follows the theft of Jack’s original take on TwinsTown’s twins Donald and Stuart.

The earlier work featuring Stuart and Donald Mackay by Jack was stolen from Dunfermline High Street.

Jack’s earlier work featuring Stuart and Donald (as shown above) was stolen from Dunfermline High Street. For years now Jack has been adding colour to the auld grey toun by strategically placing art in the centre of Dunfermline.

A friend told me, “you’re nobody in this toun until you have a Jack Paton,” needless to say she reached for her mobile phone to prove that her famous fizzog does indeed appear in a Jack Paton.

Unfortunately, I don’t have that one in my phone, but I do have Pars fan Andrew Carnegie and The Skids’ and Big Country’s Stuart Adamson.

Stuart and Donald sharing the limelight with Dunfermline legends Andrew Carnegie and Stuart Adamson.

Here’s more of Jack’s art and I’m sure the boys will love this.

Noel and Liam Gallagher by Jack Paton pictured alongside their heroes Stuart and Donald Mackay. Or is it the other way around. Who knows!?

My favourite Jack Patons are of Billy Connelly and if you look carefully below you might spot the man himself, toun legend, Jack Paton.

This time Double Trouble, Stuart and Donald, are overshadowed by Jack Paton himself and three of his paintings featuring Billy Connolly. Top left is the Big Yin looking down from the gap site towards Dunfermline High Street.

For the back cover of Brankholm Brae we’d like the full band photographed; Harry Dixon, Wayne Robertson, Mark Guyan, Donald Mackay and Stuart Mackay. However, with lockdown and all the Covid-19 restrictions I have not managed a single shot of the full TwinsTown line up, nevermind one with their backing singers, TwinsTown manager Billy George, Billy’s daughter Ellie and former TwinsTown member Ben Sharp.

Billy is planning a vinyl release for Brankholm Brae but with everything going on we don’t have a date yet. Hopefully it will be 2021. Just for Billy I’ve photoshopped a mostly black and white alternative album cover. I like to call it 52 Years A Par. Well done for supporting the band, Billy. You’re a star!

Black and white version 52 Years A Par for long-suffering TwinsTown manager Billy George.

Thanks again to Jack Paton. To view and buy Jack’s art please click here: Art by Jack Paton.

Stay alive!

I’m sitting in the flat above Tappie Toories, thinking about Stuart Adamson writing Big Country songs up here. Now I’m thinking if Harry doesn’t arrive soon we’ll be doing the interview doon The Glen or on the benches opposite The Old Inn. It’s 5.15pm and I’m lonely. Now I’m wondering if we can have a drink outside after six. I think we can but only until a minute past midnight on boxing day.

This is 2020. Five days before Christmas. I had a braw lunch at The Carnock Inn today. Steak pie with two tins of Irn Bru. My social inhibitions have not been lowered for a very long time. News just in, Police Scotland have no plans to establish checkpoints or road blocks at the border. Now I see Celtic celebrating the quadruple treble in an empty stadium. Despite setting his lawyers on the BBC, Tyson Fury is still in the running for Sports Personality of the Year. You couldn’t really make this up.

Where is Harry!?

News just in, Harry’s daughter Frankie is finishing her ice cream. I fetch the tins from the fridge. It’s the benches for us.

Harry Dixon and Tyson Fury, two sports personalities of any year.

Harry the big bad bassist bangs the door. The lights on Bruce Street are beautiful reminding me things could be worse. Thankfully TwinsTown are Covid-19 free. Cree Spowart who lives on Bruce Street told me this year’s lights are a tribute to Dunfermline’s weaving industry. My mum left school to help with the war effort and became a weaver at 15 years of age.

Anyway, the twins in TwinsTown keep telling me they’re in a rock ‘n’ roll band and I need to make them appear all rock ‘n’ roll. That means less blethering pish about whatever. Well, I say twins, Donald is the particular one. Stuart doesn’t give a monkey’s what I write.

“Right Harry, what’s rock ‘n’ roll about you?”

He looks surprised. I’ve surprised myself. I’m angry.

“C’mon then,” I continue, “sitting on a bench at the corner of Maygate and Kirkgate drinking a can of Tennents, rock ‘n’ roll, aye!?”

“Fuck AYE!” he replies.

“You should be in Tappies now, playing to a heaving crowd of 114, or at least a polite, sanitised, socially distanced, reduced capacity 25 all enjoying table service, with both doors open for maximum ventilation. Do you feel robbed?”

“Aye, totally, but we’ll think of a funnier answer than that.”

Ten minutes later…

“I’ve no funny answer, but as a serious answer, I do feel frustrated. We have an album [Brankholm Brae] in production and limited opportunity to promote it.”

Harry braved the cold, scooped a bottle of wine, and told me his role on Brankholm Brae is bass guitarist, and occasionally lead guitar. His favourite bass line is Dive In, an upbeat track about bouncing back after heartache.

“I tried to add texture to Dive In’s bass line by avoiding first position root notes and aiming for greater complexity, whilst keeping it true to the spirit of the song,” explained Harry.

Wow, the wine is potent.

Harry, Mr Rock ‘n’ Roll.

Harry goes on, “I like playing Bed Bugs on a high register. It’s not difficult but it’s fun to play. As is Say Goodbye to the Summer, where no one complains when I crank up the distortion pedal.”

Harry’s catchphrase is “flare it!” as he is notorious for flaring his guitar pedals, anytime, anywhere, any angle, and any song.

TwinsTown pedals.

Harry loves recording in the studio. It’s obvious. Yet his shyness kicks in.

“This is going to sound like a Mr. Men book,” complains Harry as he clams up.

“What Mr. would you be, Harry?”

“Mr. Flare It!” Harry fires back.

His shyness gone, he shows me his new tattoo. ‘Flare It!’ on his chest. Mark, Stuart and Donald have the same. It’s male bonding gone bananas.

Harry at Tpot Studios, Path of Condie.

Hoping for a hard-hitting question, “I hear you’re a big fan of Danny Dyer, is this true?” I ask.

“No, I prefer Sean Bean, in Sharpe, and Ronnie Scotland.”

Harry at big Barrett’s birthday barbeque, thinking of Sean Bean, and Ronnie Scotland.

In other important matters, I wonder who is Harry’s favourite Tappies bar tender. Apparently, it’s Shaunski aka Shaun Manuel Mitchell who was famously hospitalised after falling off the monkey bars in a local swing park.

We’ve been sat on these benches for three hours. I’m freezing. We’ve had a few drinks. You can probably tell.

“We need a sensible finish,” I suggest, hopefully.

“We didn’t finish talking about my favourite track. It’s Spitfire. I get to show off my guitar skills on it,” replies Harry, “and I totally flared it!”

Be careful what you dream of

It may come up and surprise you

Christopher Adrian Layhe / Robert Ian Mcnabb

So goes the opening line of Hollow Horse by The Icicle Works. It’s bound to fill our manager, Billy George, with good Christmas cheer. I know it’s one of his favourites. I think I’m right in saying that, under the guise of Honk Promotions, Billy booked lead singer Ian McNabb for a brilliant gig at PJ Molloy’s.

There was a technical issue during the first four songs and Ian McNabb walked off. Issue resolved, McNabb returned from the green room and started the gig anew. He played the first four songs again, continued on for ages and brought the house down.

I remember it being really loud for a lone singer/songwriter. No bad thing when the sound quality is top notch, which it was once the technical was fixed.

Ian McNabb of The Icicle Works.

The chorus of Hollow Horse is memorable too.

We’ll be as we are

When all the fools

Who doubt us fade away

Christopher Adrian Layhe / Robert Ian Mcnabb

The feel good factor for Wayne…? I’m thinking Jump by Van Halen.

I get up and nothin’ gets me down

You got it tough, I’ve seen the toughest around

And I know, baby, just how you feel

You got to roll with the punches and get to what’s real

Alex Van Halen / Edward Van Halen / David Roth

Aztec Camera recorded a very gentle cover version of jump and Wayne can choose.

Eddie Van Halen on top and Roddy Frame from Aztec Camera below. What will Wayne choose?

I’m torn over a selection for Mark. I’m thinking piano, keys, synthesizers, the mellotron and “the fucking Jennings” as Mark calls his favourite instrument at Robin Evans’ Tpot Studios, Path of Condie.

Mark at Tpot Studios.

The Door’s Light My Fire or People are strange, The Beatles’ Strawberry Fields Forever or Lady Madonna, or Baba O’Riley by The Who? No, I’ve got it, for Mark it’s A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum.

We skipped the light fandango

Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor

I was feeling kinda seasick

But the crowd called out for more

The room was humming harder

As the ceiling flew away

When we called out for another drink

The waiter brought a tray

 Gary Brooker / Keith Reid / Matthew Fisher

As the BBC have shown us this Christmas, changing a famous Pogues song, it’s okay to butcher other people’s lyrics. Here’s my alternative chorus for Procol Harum’s classic.

A night out with Big Daddy

We both ended up in jail

My face, at first just ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale

Joe Graham (TwinsTown EDIT)

I know Kirsty MacColl sang “haggard” instead of “faggot” on Top of the Pops and a few years ago Shane McGowan couldn’t be arsed arguing about it. However, Fairytale of New York is a classic and MacColl is singing in character; a marginalised and bitter character. In the voice of that character, the lyric is true. The BBC = lyric police.

Rant over, it’s Donald time!

You can’t touch this

You can’t touch this

You can’t touch this

Break it down!

Stop, Donald time!

Rick James / Alonzo Herbert Miller / Mc HammeR

Okay I made a wee change there too. MC Hammer’s Hammer Time has been compromised. Anyway, my actual choice for Donald is of course Elton John, but not Sacrifice, oh no, it’s I’m Still Standing.

Don’t you know

I’m still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

Elton John / Bernie Taupin

Yes, Donald is still standing – no thanks to Stuart.

Talking of Stuart…

The walls are closing in at night

Ain’t a friend in the World in sight

The boss man like to mess my day

Someday soon, gonna make him pay

Gonna hit him heavy gonna hit him hard

Wreck him in his wreckin’ yard

Wreck him in his wreckin’ yard

Gonna wreck him in his wreckin’ yard

stevie Agnew / Chris smith

Yes, you can count on toun legend Stevie Agnew to put a smile on Stuart’s face.

Anna and Stuart proudly sporting his Stevie Agnew and Hurricane Road baseball cap.

Last but not least, Harry. Last Christmas is too obvious a choice. Staying with George Michael I’ll pick Careless Whisper for The Duke.

I feel so unsure

As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor

As the music dies

Something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen

And all its sad goodbyes

 Andrew J. Ridgeley / George Michael

Wayne told me that George Michael wrote Careless Whisper and added Andrew Ridgeley to the songwriting credits to ensure his Wham! band mate never had to worry about money.

C’mon Donald and Stuart, fingers oot! None of us want to worry about money either.

Tappie Toories, the spiritual home of TwinsTown. There is a light that never goes out.