“Don’t call me Scarface!”

We all have our favourite lyrics. I just love Neville Staple’s “Don’t call me Scarface!” line from Gangsters by The Specials. The whole song is a masterpiece.

Can’t fight corruption with con tricks

They use the law to commit crime

I dread to think what the future’ll bring

When we’re living in gangster times

(Don’t call me Scarface!)

The Specials
Neville Staple, The Specials, don’t call him Scarface.

“Say hello to my little friend,” screams Al Pacino, before blowing up home invaders with his grenade launcher in the movie Scarface. The film’s soundtrack was composed by Giorgio Moroder who co-wrote Together In Electric Dreams with Phil Oakey of the Human League.

I only knew you for a while

I never saw your smile

‘Til it was time to go

Time to go away (time to go away)

Philip Oakey, Giorgio Moroder

The song tells us that love can endure even when the opportunity to properly share in the love is lost.

Sometimes its hard to recognise

Love comes as a surprise

And its too late

Its just too late to stay

Too late to stay

Philip Oakey, Giorgio Moroder

Together In Electric Dreams is a simple, catchy wee track, recorded in only ten minutes, yet it’s poignant. Oakey talks about the Human League taking a year to record singles and failing to achieve the chart success he enjoyed with Moroder and Electric Dreams.

Talking of lost love, here come the Wölves.

You’re an animal

You never loved no one

You’re an animal

Changed our relationship to complicated

I must admit I felt a little jaded

Talking cheap and acting shady

I found your tweets and your Facebook, baby

Wölves
Wölves’ video for animal featuring our very own Donald and Stuart, and me! I’m in there somewhere as an extra. I did see myself once, honest.

Animal by the Wölves is now a modern classic; heartbreak and trauma, expressed through the medium of social media. From Keats and Yates to Wölves, love lost is love lost. The desolation remains the same. What is it with me and lost love, I wonder? Let’s not dwell on it.

Here’s a picture from the Wölves’ video for Animal.

Jason Duffy drumming on the Wölves’ Animal video.

What is it with Jason and baring his chest, I wonder? Let’s not dwell on it. I’m sure the girls like it.

Here’s an altogether more lovable snap from the same video shoot.

Mariam Amhaz during the Wölves video shoot for their outstanding track Animal.

Mariam’s accordion playing being cut from the final video edit is shocking.

Actually I promised Mariam I’d put that picture up in Tappie Toories but that’s now another tale of lost love.

I can’t face the heartbreak of reopening Tappies for a fourth time only to face who knows what restrictions and potentially a fourth closure due to Covid-19, and a third wave or whatever.

Instead, take yer chances at Tesco with unlimited alcohol sales fuelling drunken, unregulated everything. Other super-spreaders and superstores are available.

We’ve had pubs only open until 6pm but prohibited from selling any drink, under any circumstances. We’ve had an 8pm curfew but only if you sell a substantial meal, and a 10pm curfew with hundreds or thousands huddled together in the dank streets at exactly the same time with no taxis available. We’ve had lock-up, lock-down, you know, anything but a sensible, sober, regulated and socially distanced lock-in.

That reminds me.

Serbia 1-1 Scotland (4-5 on penalties).

A great night, a great sing-a-long and an outrageous 20-man conga lauded by all.

Oooohh! Yes sir, I can boogie

But I need a certain song

I can boogie, boogie woogie all night long

Yes sir, I can boogie

If you stay, you can’t go wrong

I can boogie, boogie woogie all night long

Soja Rolf / Dostal Frank

The Baccara disco classic Yes Sir, I Can Boogie was just as good as the Scottish conga line singing the name of penalty-saving goalie David Marshall to Whigfield’s Saturday Night.

Scotland have qualified for the European Championship finals 2020, our first major tournament since 1998. That’s 22 years! Or 23 as it’s being played at least one year late, maybe more. The first major finals I properly remember was 1978…

We’re on the march with Ally’s Army

We’re going to the Argentine

And we’ll really shake them up

When we win the World Cup

‘Cause Scotland are the greatest football team

Samuel Dennison

Ally’s Tartan Army by Andy Cameron contains one of the best lyrics ever. Here it comes…

When we reach the Argentine we’re really gonna show

The world a brand of football that they could never know

We’re representing Britain; we’ve got to do or die

For England cannae dae it ’cause they didnae qualify!

Samuel Dennison

Talking of England, I now work for NHS England and, on a serious note, it has reinforced my view that doing everything we could to keep people safe in Tappies was absolutely the right thing to do. I hope our parliaments, supermarkets, schools, universities, etc., can, in time – hopefully a very short time – do likewise.

Lyrically, it doesn’t get much better or funnier than Ally’s Tartan Army with; “England cannae dae it ’cause they didnae qualify!”

Although, never shy of a challenge, TwinsTown have given it a go. Former member Ronnie Dalrymple sings on Double Trouble…

My name is Ronnie and I play the drums

I’ve got eight fingers and I’ve got twa thumbs

So, lock up your daughters, sisters and mums!

TwinsTown

You really have to see it. Find Ronnie and TwinsTown in the Double Trouble video here: Double Trouble

Ronnie sings arguably the best lyric ever as Donald pretends he can play poker.

Stay alive!

Welcome to my World is the opening track on TwinsTown’s forthcoming debut album Brankholm Brae. This post is a TwinsTown welcome to the new year.

Always keeping up with the Jones twins next door, this year the Mackay twins are keeping their tree up longer.

TwinsTown’s twins, the Mackays, Stuart and Donald, always keeping up with the Joneses.

“It’s a 2021 trend,” explained Stuart, “and of course we’re keeping up with the Joneses.”

“AYE!” screamed Donald, “the Joneses don’t have an album to release this year, and if they do, it won’t be a patch on Brankholm Brae.”

Okay Donald, keep the heid.

You have to admit though, it’s a stunning display of self-confidence from boys wearing matching Elton John T-shirts.

Talking of Elton, he appears in today’s MusicWeek.

Click the link above, it’s an interesting wee read. It’s all about Elton’s online popularity and success. Actually, I hope the twins don’t click. I don’t want Stuart and Donald turning into green-eyed monsters. Maybe the Mackays are keeping up with the Joneses but Elton is the Rocket Man.

Are you keeping your tree up this year? I hope so. 🙂

Stay alive!

I don’t wanna be hip and cool

I don’t wanna play by the rules

Not under the thumb of the cynical few

Or laden down by the doom crew

Howard Jones

A new year message from TwinsTown courtesy of Howard Jones’ New Song all the way from 1983…

Don’t crack up

Bend your brain

See both sides

Throw off your mental chains

Howard Jones

New Song was Jones’ debut single charting at number three in the hit parade. Talking of debuts, TwinsTown will release debut album Brankholm Brae next year. It’s bound to be a highlight of 2021.

Brankholm Brae coming soon in 2021.

Stay alive!

Better late than never. Not Dovv aka David Stevens, but us, TwinsTown.

On 4th December 2020 Dovv released Backstreets of Your Mind, a stunning new single, immediately striking favourable comparisons with The Boss himself, Bruce Springsteen.

A little less immediate is our reaction, but we love it!

Let us take you back a week and relive the Facebook announcement.

*DEBUT SINGLE*

‘Backstreets of Your Mind’ is now available on all major streaming platforms.

Recorded & Produced by Alex Burrell at EFR Studios.

Video by the talented Iain Davidson.

Share away!

All the love, Dovv.

https://open.spotify.com/track/5e2AT8yFPsK1etajKfwayq…https://music.apple.com/…/backstreets-of…/1540667739https://youtu.be/jKvw9oG2vFk

Dovv, 4th December 2020

Well done Dovv and all involved, including Ben Sharp of TwinsTown fame. Until very recently I didn’t know about Ben being “the king of all men”. Playing poker in the video for TwinsTown’s Double Trouble, I thought Ben was singing the king of all in. ‘All in’ being a well known poker move. Some might say my only poker move. I suppose we call him B-Sharp for a reason.

You can watch Ben in Double Trouble action with TwinsTown here: https://twins-town.com/video/.

A royal salute from B-Sharp, the king of all men.

Shortly after offering his devoted following a royal salute, Ben the king of all men joined The Stevie Agnew Band sans Stevie Agnew on stage at The White Gates.

Ben Sharp joining The Stevie Agnew Band without Stevie on stage at The White Gates.

“This boy is called Ben,” and he fairly gets around. Next up here the B-Sharp man is at Tpot Studios, Path of Condie, laying down backing vocals for Brankholm Brae, the forthcoming debut album from TwinsTown.

Ben Sharp at Tpot Studios recording for Brankholm Brae, the debut album from TwinsTown.

Before I go and to set the record straight, Ben says he prefers the king of all in. Bad news for me, I fancied that title for myself.

Don’t think I’ve forgotten about Dovv and Backstreets of Your Mind. I’ve often seen David playing The Old Inn and he is always superb. The last time I spotted him was on stage with Oskar Braves at Oakley Miners’ Welfare Club or The 1925 Community Club as I think it is now known after a recent rebranding. They smashed it at what was a great night featuring an audience with music mogul and Creation Records label owner, Alan McGee, telling stories of his work with Oasis, Jesus and Mary Chain, Primal Scream and The Libertines, amongst others.

Oskar Braves with Dovv pictured rear and centre.

I love the Oskar Braves photograph above. If anyone knows who took it please let me know. It’s brilliant.

The video for Backstreets of Your Mind is good too. Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKvw9oG2vFk.

Please support Dovv and all our outstanding local musicians. These times are tough.

Stay alive.

Be careful what you dream of

It may come up and surprise you

Christopher Adrian Layhe / Robert Ian Mcnabb

So goes the opening line of Hollow Horse by The Icicle Works. It’s bound to fill our manager, Billy George, with good Christmas cheer. I know it’s one of his favourites. I think I’m right in saying that, under the guise of Honk Promotions, Billy booked lead singer Ian McNabb for a brilliant gig at PJ Molloy’s.

There was a technical issue during the first four songs and Ian McNabb walked off. Issue resolved, McNabb returned from the green room and started the gig anew. He played the first four songs again, continued on for ages and brought the house down.

I remember it being really loud for a lone singer/songwriter. No bad thing when the sound quality is top notch, which it was once the technical was fixed.

Ian McNabb of The Icicle Works.

The chorus of Hollow Horse is memorable too.

We’ll be as we are

When all the fools

Who doubt us fade away

Christopher Adrian Layhe / Robert Ian Mcnabb

The feel good factor for Wayne…? I’m thinking Jump by Van Halen.

I get up and nothin’ gets me down

You got it tough, I’ve seen the toughest around

And I know, baby, just how you feel

You got to roll with the punches and get to what’s real

Alex Van Halen / Edward Van Halen / David Roth

Aztec Camera recorded a very gentle cover version of jump and Wayne can choose.

Eddie Van Halen on top and Roddy Frame from Aztec Camera below. What will Wayne choose?

I’m torn over a selection for Mark. I’m thinking piano, keys, synthesizers, the mellotron and “the fucking Jennings” as Mark calls his favourite instrument at Robin Evans’ Tpot Studios, Path of Condie.

Mark at Tpot Studios.

The Door’s Light My Fire or People are strange, The Beatles’ Strawberry Fields Forever or Lady Madonna, or Baba O’Riley by The Who? No, I’ve got it, for Mark it’s A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum.

We skipped the light fandango

Turned cartwheels ‘cross the floor

I was feeling kinda seasick

But the crowd called out for more

The room was humming harder

As the ceiling flew away

When we called out for another drink

The waiter brought a tray

 Gary Brooker / Keith Reid / Matthew Fisher

As the BBC have shown us this Christmas, changing a famous Pogues song, it’s okay to butcher other people’s lyrics. Here’s my alternative chorus for Procol Harum’s classic.

A night out with Big Daddy

We both ended up in jail

My face, at first just ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale

Joe Graham (TwinsTown EDIT)

I know Kirsty MacColl sang “haggard” instead of “faggot” on Top of the Pops and a few years ago Shane McGowan couldn’t be arsed arguing about it. However, Fairytale of New York is a classic and MacColl is singing in character; a marginalised and bitter character. In the voice of that character, the lyric is true. The BBC = lyric police.

Rant over, it’s Donald time!

You can’t touch this

You can’t touch this

You can’t touch this

Break it down!

Stop, Donald time!

Rick James / Alonzo Herbert Miller / Mc HammeR

Okay I made a wee change there too. MC Hammer’s Hammer Time has been compromised. Anyway, my actual choice for Donald is of course Elton John, but not Sacrifice, oh no, it’s I’m Still Standing.

Don’t you know

I’m still standing better than I ever did

Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid

Elton John / Bernie Taupin

Yes, Donald is still standing – no thanks to Stuart.

Talking of Stuart…

The walls are closing in at night

Ain’t a friend in the World in sight

The boss man like to mess my day

Someday soon, gonna make him pay

Gonna hit him heavy gonna hit him hard

Wreck him in his wreckin’ yard

Wreck him in his wreckin’ yard

Gonna wreck him in his wreckin’ yard

stevie Agnew / Chris smith

Yes, you can count on toun legend Stevie Agnew to put a smile on Stuart’s face.

Anna and Stuart proudly sporting his Stevie Agnew and Hurricane Road baseball cap.

Last but not least, Harry. Last Christmas is too obvious a choice. Staying with George Michael I’ll pick Careless Whisper for The Duke.

I feel so unsure

As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor

As the music dies

Something in your eyes

Calls to mind a silver screen

And all its sad goodbyes

 Andrew J. Ridgeley / George Michael

Wayne told me that George Michael wrote Careless Whisper and added Andrew Ridgeley to the songwriting credits to ensure his Wham! band mate never had to worry about money.

C’mon Donald and Stuart, fingers oot! None of us want to worry about money either.

Tappie Toories, the spiritual home of TwinsTown. There is a light that never goes out.

The Proclaimers twins meet TwinsTown twins.

I could get a broken jaw from being in a fight.

I know its evening when day turns to night.

I can understand why Stranraer lie so lowly.

They could save a lot of points by signing Hibs’ goalie…

Charles Reid / Craig Reid

The Proclaimers have written some tremendous lyrics and the verse from Cap In Hand about Hibs’ goalie is my runaway favourite. I love a football reference and this one rivals Billy Bragg’s beezer from Sexuality.

I had an uncle who once played for Red Star Belgrade

He said some things are really left best unspoken

But I prefer it all to be out in the open

Billy Bragg / Johnny Marr

I love these two songs; they reference football AND they have a strong message. Cap In Hand is a rallying call for an independent Scotland and Sexuality is an anthem to equality, rousing us to shed any and all prejudice based on sexual orientation.

I’m going to stop before All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit by Half Man Half Biscuit gets a mention. It’s too upsetting to contemplate. Dukla Prague did not get an exemption to join my Christmas bubble.

Two toun legends, one stunning image. Billy George’s brilliant photograph of a lonely Disco Deek walking along Bruce Street sums up our times, our town and our country.

Billy George’s Disco Deek on Bruce Street.

On the bright side Donald and Stuart Mackay have written a TwinsTown song about it all. It’s called The Girl on the TV. I think it’s currently unfinished. As are we, hopefully. We are unfinished too. The Smiths remind us, “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out”.

Joe Graham’s Tappie Toories.

Take me out tonight

Where there’s music and there’s people

And they’re young and alive

Stephen Morrissey / Johnny Marr

Talking of toun legends, let’s go for a hat-trick, here’s Mr Dunfermline himself, Jim Leishman, entertaining an enthusiastic and packed Tappie Toories.

Jamie Watson from Big Country and The Skids, Graeme ‘Gumsy’ Macleod and Mr Dunfermline, legend Jim Leishman, entertaining a packed Tappie Toories.
A packed Tappie Toories.

Take me out tonight

Because I want to see people

And I want to see life

Stephen Morrissey / Johnny Marr

Stay alive.

Harry is a werewolf. At least, that’s the explanation I prefer. Any other logic I come up with is infinitely less palatable.

Harry Dixon transforms as a stunned Rhea Patel-McCrossan looks on. PJ Molloy’s has never before seen the likes.

Legend has it, Harry was enjoying a pot of tea in Tappie Toories, Dunfermline, with his friend Jack. It was so much better than the scaffy tea Harry endures at home.

Harry’s pal Jack chats happily with Tappies’ regulars over a pot of quality tea.

As Harry and Jack prepared to leave Tappies, a man throwing darts warned, “Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.”

“Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.”

Another playing chess advised, “Beware the moon, lads.”

“Beware the moon, lads.” Yes, Rik Mayall and Brian Glover were regulars at Tappies.

A feeling of apprehension fell over the pair. They glanced towards the bar hoping for reassurance.

I can’t remember whether it was Zena or Cheryl working that fateful night.

The bar tender offered no hope. She turned away and opened a bottle of Fireball as Harry and Jack traipsed out onto Kirkgate in the Fife town’s heritage quarter. There was a full moon.

Harry’s friend Jack leaves Tappies.

I’ve not seen Jack since that fateful night. I guess Harry suggested a shortcut through the Public Park where they were attacked by a lycanthrope. A werewolf. Suffering an unnatural death, murdered Jack must now walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf’s curse is lifted.

On the bright side, if Jack is undead and haunting Harry, at least he’ll hear some good guitar licks and catchy TwinsTown tunes. Harry is a scarily good guitarist.

Harry laying down another catchy bass line at Tpot Studios, Path of Condie.

I bet Donald and Stuart could write a decent song about a werewolf, maybe even a guitar-playing werewolf. Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival is a classic.

Donald thinks about werewolfs as Harry sweats.

Bark at the Moon was Ozzy Osbourne’s first music video, heavily influenced by Robert Louis Stevenson’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Ozzy’s werewolf terrorizes, is killed, and later mysteriously returns to once again wreak havoc upon the villagers. Meanwhile Ozzy’s mad scientist is committed to the Holloway Sanatorium on the outskirts of London. Another classic.

Stuart thinks about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and looks worried. He knows he’s TwinsTown’s Dr. Jekyll, but how many Mr. Hydes are there!? More worryingly, what is sweaty Harry doing!?

Is it okay to talk about Michael Jackson? My third favourite werewolf song is Thriller and I love that video. It was on in Coady’s the other day, I hadn’t seen it for years, and I couldn’t take my eyes off it. The voiceover by Vincent Price is a class touch.

Harry after a trip to the Turkish barbers, or Vincent Price? You decide…

C’mon then, Donald and Stuart, write a beezer of a song all about a werewolf. After debut album Brankholm Brae there’ll be that difficult second album to wrestle. Big Daddy has warned you.

TwinsTown’s debut album Brankholm Brae is coming soon. Flare it!

If you know TwinsTown at all, you’ll know they are nothing if not keen.

TwinsTown with Zena sans The Darkness.

Not that I can talk. I was nicknamed Mister Mustard by my trade union comrades. My old boss called me the “make it happen man,” and my IT colleagues gave me a leaving card showing a rottweiler chewing a bone above the words; JOE ‘BITES-YER-LEGS’ GRAHAM. I understood this to be a reference to both my football and my work. Apparently I was like a dug with a bone until the project was done.

It’s nice to see the band doing the same. The hard work goes on on debut album Brankholm Brae, as scheduled by manager Big Daddy aka Billy George, and in spare time work has begun on the difficult second album. You know pop mythology, the rock ‘n’ roll cliche; an up-and-coming band work for years on an explosive first album but stumble trying to follow-up on their initial success within a year or risk losing their currency. Even taking time can end in disaster. It’s known as Difficult Second Album Syndrome (DSAS).

The Stone Roses, The Second Coming (Geffen, 1994)

This is the pinnacle of DSAS. It even inspires an argument in Shaun of the Dead when Simon Pegg resists frisbeeing the vinyl to stop advancing zombies but Nick Frost wants it frisbee’d. Heavy nods towards Led Zeppelin couldn’t find critical favour and the Mancunians split up before they could record another note. On the upside, it gave us Ten Storey Love Song, an absolute triumph reminiscent of the Madchester sound on the band’s debut, featuring typically jangly guitars and warm harmonies. Riff-heavy and intense Love Spreads is another highlight.

Simon Pegg watches Nick Frost frisbee vinyl at advancing zombies in Shaun of the Dead.

Elastica, The Menace (Deceptive, 2000)

The eponymous debut sits proudly in my record collection. This does not. Like The Second Coming it was five years in the making and still failed to inspire. On the bright side, it didn’t compare itself to Jesus.

Terence Trent D’Arby, Neither Fish Nor Flesh (Columbia, 1989)

My pal Murray had a copy of D’Arby’s debut The Hardline According To…, and I used to play it. Murray moved into my house when his three house-mates eliminated him from the equation by deliberately moving from a 4 to a 3-bedroom rental. His housemates were risible, pretentious and all too self-important. Exactly like D’Arby’s second album. We frisbee’d it into a boby-building neighbour’s garden.

Guns N’ Roses, Use Your Illusion I & II (Geffen, 1991)

Not one but two successors to Appetite for Destruction, weighing in at an overblown two and a half hours. Enough said.

The Clash, Give ‘Em Enough Rope (Columbia, 1978)

I actually really like this, but the reviews were mixed, therefore it makes my list. Only at No.5 though as it’s pretty good by most standards, just a wee bit disappointing by comparison with the eponymous debut and the magnificent London’s Calling, The Clash’s third and best album by some distance. Highlights include: Safe European Home, English Civil War, Tommy Gunn and Stay Free.

Back to TwinsTown

Actually, I don’t want to call it the difficult second album. I’ll need to give it a working title.

FLARE IT!

Flare It is the obvious choice as it narrowly missed out to Brankholm Brae to be the name of TwinsTown’s debut album.

We currently us Flare It! as a slogan. Who knows it could be the second album.

Therefore, work on Flare It has begun. All socially distanced of course. We’ve gone hi-tech with video conferencing, online multi-user project sharing and the best audio quality available.

War with Myself

The first song completed for Flare It is War with Myself; a man lies in turmoil, his heid is bursting, his thoughts running amok, there’s only two hours before he needs to get up for work, yet he can’t get back to sleep. We’ve all been there. Have you gone to war with yourself about it? I think you probably have. It’s really annoying. I know I have.

Our sleep-deprived hero Hornet aka Donald Mackay chooses full contact martial arts for combat with his psyche. His very soul is at stake. His inner demons must be defeated.

Mixed Martial Arts

He remembers the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the most influential martial art in the history of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, used by Royce Gracie to define mixed martial arts as a sport. Donald is now onto something…

Royce Gracie and Ken Shamrock. Gracie used Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to consistently defeat Shamrock winning UFC1, UFC2 and UFC4. They drew at UFC5.

Meanwhile, twin telepathy has Smackay aka Stuart Mackay sitting up in bed. He’s threatening kamikaze to save his bro.

The Wasp aka Wayne Robertson can’t help he’s stuck in an English asylum, Broadmoor. He probably couldn’t sleep either.

“One up, all up!” shout the twins. The Duke aka Harry Dixon and The Darkness aka Mark Guyan are rudely awakened, dragged from their pits, and bundled into The Mystery Machine aka big Barrett’s camper van. They’re breaking Wayne out tonight.

The Mystery Machine sans big Barrett.

TwinsTown v Nazis

The action rages from Tappie Toories to Bratislava where there’s Nazis to chase with Lady Gaga doing the krav maga (it’s so tempting to sing magaga at that point) arguably the most efficient and deadly martial art. It was developed in late-1930’s to fight Slovakia’s Nazis and is famously used by the Israeli Defence Force as well as Willie Doig when manager at The Old Inn.

Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee is on viagra (I didn’t see that coming). I won’t dare tell you what Jackie Chan gets up to. This is no Shanghai Knights. Thank goodness.

Shanghai Knights.

Not so difficult…

War with Myself is the full TwinsTown monty. For me it’s up there with The Wrath of the Rum, the Wingnuts classic making a well deserved return to appear on Brankholm Brae. It’s maybe even as good as Spitfire, my favourite, most rockinest track on Brankholm Brae. It’s a great start to Flare It (working title) the maybe not so difficult second album.

Before lockdown and later restrictions, TwinsTown were busy rehearsing at Scott Gilbert’s Penthouse Practice Suite, situated above the Seven Kings at 2a Chalmers Street, when Stevie Agnew walked in, and joined in.

Stuart Mackay, Stevie Agnew and Donald Mackay at Scott Gilbert’s Penthouse Practice Suite.

You can’t beat a bit of Stevie. Back in summertime I was lucky. My birthday is 7th July and this year beer gardens reopened on 6th July. I wandered down to The White Gates thinking it’d be busy and I’d have a wee birthday bash a day early. It was busy, and even better, Stevie and Jock Boland were there to entertain us. James was also playing but I’ve forgotten his surname.

Stuart starring in a Penthouse Practice Suite ad.

This was before anyone decided to ban singing and it was a brilliant night. I kid you not, Jock was trying to go home for half an hour. The “one more tune” calls didn’t stop. He played some magnificent folk songs. The local talent we have is just astounding.

Jock Boland (right).

Stevie and James were awesome too, playing some well known covers before mixing it up with novelty songs and other oddities.

Stevie Agnew (centre) at The White Gates.

I had a brilliant birthday just one day early.

Stevie Agnew (centre) and the boys at Toastie’s Penthouse Practice Suite.

The next Saturday afternoon The Stevie Agnew Band played the roof at The White Gates. It was like U2 playing the rooftop in Los Angeles for their Grammy Award-winning music video. Stevie and his band missed a trick by not blasting out Where The Streets Have No Name.

Stuart and Donald at Toastie’s Penthouse Practice Suite.

A little later The White Gates built a new stage on a lower level than the beer garden. From the roof the sound was disappearing up the village. The new stage solved that problem and The Stevie Agnew Band returned for a second scintillating post-lockdown gig.

The Stevie Agnew Band on stage at The White Gates with former TwinsTown drummer Ronnie Dalrymple. Ronnie has 8 fingers and 2 thumbs, “lock up your daughters, sisters and mums,” as you’ll hear on our video page.

TwinsTown love Stevie – who doesn’t!? – and his album Hurricane Road. Informally, just entertaining friends, I’ve heard Donald and Stuart sing Stevie’s Wreckin’ Yard, albeit given a wee TwinsTown makeover. The best cover versions usually have a wee twist.

Anna Heslop and Stuart Mackay wearing Stevie Agnew Hurricane Road hat.

It’s always good to see local artists supporting each other. Until recently Eggman Studios, the home of up-and-coming Fife band Shambolics, sat next door to Toastie’s Penthouse Practice Suite, and Shambolics popped along to support our TwinsTown rehearsal.

Shambolics watching TwinsTown.

Scott Gilbert aka Toastie recorded his forthcoming single Walk On By at Eggman Studios, next door to his own Penthouse Practice Suite.

Scott Gilbert aka Toastie recording at Eggman Studios.

Shambolics and Eggman Studios have now relocated to Glasgow and all at TwinsTown wish them the very best of luck. Although with their obvious talent and having already signed with Scottish music mogul Alan McGee, who is also based in Glasgow, Shambolics won’t need luck. McGee’s old label Creation Records famously signed Oasis, Primal Scream, as well as Jesus and Mary Chain. His new label Creation23 is focusing on releasing vinyl as TwinsTown intend to do for debut album Brankholm Brae.

Eggman Studios, Dunfermline, is no more. Our own Wayne is pictured 4th from the left.

Amazingly, in almost 4 years, I’ve not managed to book Stevie Agnew or his band to play Tappie Toories. I’ll need to rectify that error asap. How brilliant would it be to have Stevie and TwinsTown in Tappies on the same night. Maybe one day…